Being A Girl Mom on International Women´s Day.
I am now the mom of a baby girl and this day, International Women´s Day, seems different to me than other years. I have to admit I come from a place of privilege, where I had access to good education and my parents gave me all the opportunities to succeed in life . As a mom I want the same for my baby girl.
My baby girl has a 6 year old brother who is full with imagination, he is loud, an extrovert, and dreams of being a scientist. I do not know yet the likes and dreams my little girl will have when she grows up, but I want to find ways to encourage both my kids to become whatever they want.
As a girl and teen my parents encouraged me to be what I wanted, but they were far more over protective with me that with my brother. It always seemed unfair why I had to be home earlier when I was more responsible than him. Their argument was that it was more dangerous for girls to be out so late, and also I guess just because I was a girl.
I am not sure on what world Mariana will grow up, what dangers or challenges as a girl she might encounter. I want to say that I will like to treat my kids with equality, with the same freedoms and responsibilities. However gender violence or violence against women and girls is one of the most "prevalent human right violations in the world" according the United Nations Population Fund, so now as a mom I kinda get my parent's point of view.
According to a report from the World Bank Group Gender & Development Unit, gender specific constraints not only make women gain less than men, they are also less likely to get promoted, also are "concentrated in less-productive jobs, and run enterprises in less-productive sectors, with fewer opportunities for business scale-up or career advancement."
This report also mentions that social norms such as housework, taking care of kids or elder parents play a role on the disparity of advancement. This is a huge issue for me, since I am in a way a traditional stay at home mom, but I am progressive in my thinking.
As a mom I want to raise my boy and girl equally, but I find it challenging without ignoring the disparities of our reality. Overall I have to teach my kids that the roads are not always straight nor easy, that it takes several attempts to succeed, and never give up on their dreams. Hopefully when they grow up I wont have to distinguish between the challenges a boy and a girl face, but merely educate about history and human rights.
As a women, I have to admit I do have to change too. It is common for women to try to do it all, cling into perfectionism or expectations and judge each other. We can create a better sisterhood if we let go of perfectionism and don't give a damn if people judge you for your decisions or lifestyle.
Be proud of those stay home moms who put aside their careers to be with their kids, and to those that work full time who manage to do it all, for those who decided not to have kids, or young woman who wants to conquer the world . We all are different but united with the same dreams, struggles, history and therefore we shall do nothing but empower each other. As a man, empower your girlfriend, spouse, mother, sister, friend by believing in them and taking equal responsibilities on chores or housework.
As a mom of a boy, I also have work to do. I have to teach him respect and admiration for girls, to help out with chores without distinction of gender and grow up without some stereotypes that make no sense.
Although Mariana is just 5 months I've been buying her books that will inspire her to become whoever she wants. In the meantime, her brother will read them so he knows that woman too can be scientist.
Sources: